Tuesday, 22 June 2010
My affair with running....definitely a love/hate thing!
What is it with running? I mean...what IS it? She is like a temptress maybe - a mermaid, a vixen, a filthy whore even?! Someone you can share all your frustrations...take it out on her! (Is it a her...why have I called it 'her'?) She is there, patiently always there... like the perfect Mistress, she will always try to make you feel better, but sometimes its just too hard... you end up resenting her for it.... but she can hurt you more than you've ever known was possible!
Tonight I was resenting her... I was not happy after looking for pretty Summer shoes earlier on, which I felt SHE would ruin! I mean how can I wear these things.. she has made me crave comfort when not striking the ground hard! I AM the typical shoe loving girl... not a 'girly' girl - but I like to show off my hard-worked calves, and enjoy my REST nights with a pretty dress and matching shoes. But she is always there in my mind... always. I plan everything around her.. my days, weeks... and now even further ahead than that! But I also hate her. Tonight - I didnt even want to go out... after starting so slowly last night, and having planned in a long run instead of the normal club night to get my time with her. She had made me feel like this, like I had to be sneaky about doing it tonight... if the others saw my struggle with her, I might give it away. I ended up feeling the others would give me more strength to cope with her tonight...safety in numbers I guess! Well went out fairly well. but then she had her sweaty grip on me. and I slowed... grrrrrrr! Right thats IT!! I fought - I fought with the mental stimulation and chatting with Barry and Richard about beer!! Thats the spirit, IGNORE her, being sociable helped me overcome the mental struggle (was it physical or mental - probably a bit of both) - but I was able to finish feeling back in control. You have to stay in control of this one... she only makes you hate yourself for loving her so much... but sometimes you WILL hate her....its probably those times that make you a better runner.